Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Surprise- they're here!

Week 34 of twin pregnancy began as normal. I was swollen and miserable, yet full of happiness. I went to the ob on Monday and we were between 2 and 3 centimeters dilated (which means that my body is getting ready to deliver- but can stay that way for a long time). I felt SO full and ready to pop though, I measured 41 weeks- bigger than I had ever been before.

On Tuesday morning, I went to work early for a meeting. I was walking very, very slowly, and felt a little odd. I was leaking a bit of fluid, so I called the nurse and she told me to come in. I told our secretary that I would probably be back by lunch, that I just needed to check on this. Well, I made it to the doctor's office where he determined that one of the bags had ruptured and amniotic fluid was coming out. As we headed to do an ultrasound check, he started talking about the hospital. I said, "you mean, we are delivering today?" And he said, "yes." I called the twins' mom, asked her pull over, and told her she would have babies today!

I drove across the parking lot to the hospital, and by 11:30 I was hooked up and my doctor broke the bag completely on twin A (the one that was closest to the exit). My mom came to the hospital to be with me during this labor and the twins' parents were on their way. I guess since I have had so many babies everything went very quickly. At some point, the anesthesiologist came and gave me an epidural although I wasn't really in pain, just in labor. The epidural was the most painful part of my labor and delivery. It felt like I was being electrocuted down my whole left side. The epidural worked for a while, but then it quit working and I felt my labor the rest of the time. By 3:30, I was ready to deliver. They pushed my whole bed down to the OR (operating room), which is standard protocol for delivering twins. Somehow, they got me onto the evil operating table, made it sit up, and I was able to get myself situated.
When my doctor arrived and realized that the epidural had worn off, he sent for the anesthesiologist. He said that the current epidural wouldn't work and I let them all know that there would be no new epidural!
The doctor told me to push when I had the next contraction. I was so confused, I was not in pain and my contractions didn't seem like they were strong enough yet. However, I said, "okay" and we pushed. Three pushes later, twin A came out. She was making this wonderful grumpy face that made the nurses all smile. They layed her across my chest and wiped her up as she started to whimper. I had two thoughts while they did this: "cry, baby, cry" and "she should be in her mother's arms- not mine". She was beautiful. They took her to the little baby bed to clean her up, and it wasn't until she screamed at them in protest that I cried tears of joy that she was well.
After she was born, I had been told we would take a rest and use the ultrasound machine to see what her brother was doing. Ha, ha, ha! He was anxious to follow his sister into this world, and 7 minutes and four pushes later, twin B was born. He was angry and screaming, and I was overjoyed. He was beautiful. I rested.

The twins were both crying, pink, and healthy. We spent 50 minutes in the OR. The first 20 was setting up. The next 10 were the twins being born. The final 20 was the clean up. Amazing.
The twins were here! I had just had the easiest labor and delivery of my entire life, and I had brought two children into the world. How miraculous!
I spent the next four hours recovering. The twins spent the next four hours being tested, watched, and carefully looked after by the nursery staff. The twins were premature and required extra attention. Their parents spent the next four hours driving to their children.

Finally, that evening, I was able to go into the nursery with their parents. I was able to watch them, for a few minutes, look in wonder at the children their love, sacrifice, and patience had brought to them. I went back to my room completely fulfilled knowing they had their dream before them.

Their parents missed the delivery, and weren't able to hold them that first night in the nursery. I had anticipated the moment of their first meeting of the twins so differently and had planned on that being my beautiful memory of helping them become parents. Life doesn't work out that way- it works out better.
The next afternoon, when the twins were allowed to leave the nursery, C and A brought them to my room- not to theirs- and I was delighted. I was able to sit in my hospital bed and watch them sit on the couch holding their newborn son and daughter. This little girl I had delivered was in the arms of her father, who rocked her and sang to her in French. This little boy that I had delivered nestled in the arms of his mother as she rocked him and smiled the smile of a new mother. I had my moment. I will keep that moment alive in my heart forever, and I will never think of it without tears of joy.

The twins stayed in the hospital for four days. They are not only blessings, but miracles. What a short stay for babies born at only 34 weeks. I was so scared that I would not be giving C and A the healthy children they had longed for, but we did! While they were in the hospital, I was able to see them every day. My children were all able to hold them and kiss them. It was a beautiful gift from their parents to us to allow us to be part of their bonding time.

Ever since the twins' birth, all I have thought when I think of them, surrogacy, this journey, life in general, is- LOVE. Love. Nothing more. Everything good in this world comes from love. These children are love in its purest form.
I have expected sorrow, or grief, or loss since coming home. I have experienced love, and peace, and joy. My heart is simply full of love.
I know I am terrible at getting pictures to organize on here, but....
the reason you have actually opened this blog, PICTURES!!!

Little man- white hat
Little princess- yellow hat

Twins with parents and me
Twins with my kids


  1. Emily, I can't stop reading this entry, it's so beautiful! I just love your warm and loving description of the miracle that this birth truly was. I feel lucky to have known you at all, much less have shared this wonderful journey with you. Thank you.