There is an ache in my chest
A heaviness that sits between my breasts
Beneath my sternum bone
Beneath my skin and muscle
It weighs upon my lungs
So I cannot breathe
It pushes against my heart
So I cannot feel
I breathe
Deeply in, slowly out
I breathe
Deeply in, slowly out
I am losing
Deeply in, slowly out
The tears are pushing
Deeply in, slowly out
Against my eyes
Deeply in, slowly out
I breathe
I want to scream
And rage at the unmerciful gods
This is so unfair
So unfair
But I already learned it does no good
The weight becomes a butterfly
Trying to be born
It struggles to break free
Out of my chest
I breathe
Deeply in, slowly out
I breathe
Deeply in, slowly out
Don’t be born
Deeply in, slowly out
Stay inside butterfly
Deeply in, slowly out
I breathe
The butterfly does not burst out
The blurriness fades
The sting evaporates
My brain quits somersaulting
The world seems upright again
The floor no longer wavers
The roaring subsides
And the weight lessens
I breathe
And the panic attack is held at bay
But it’s not gone
It waits in the shadows
Until it thinks I’m weak enough
To try again
So I breathe
Deeply in, slowly out
