Saturday, September 5, 2009

Two ears of corn

We are 24 weeks today. I love this milestone in pregnancy. This is the week where the twins are now viable children- if they were born, they would have a fighting chance at survival. Of course, they are not going to be; I am holding them hostage at least until Thanksgiving (that is the plan anyways).
According to, they are each the length of an ear of corn today and over a pound. They are scrawny and haven't filled out yet, but they are working on it. Oh, how they are working on it. I look seven months pregnant already! As I sit here typing, I am having body parts bump into the top of my belly and slide around. It is great to be able to feel them moving; it brings me peace of mind to know that they are thriving. And now a big bump to the front- boy they are feeling wiggly now!
Things my body is doing: My fingernails are long, I have new spider veins popping up on my legs every day, my bladder is squished- I am not sure where it has gone because I feel them move against my pubic bone, if I lay down flat on my back I cannot breathe, when I try to get up from lying down I can't, and I can't reach my feet without sitting down and maneuvering correctly. I am eating like a starved pig and going to the bathroom every hour. The two new and exciting things: Stabbing pains in the sides of my adbomen and my sciatic nerve going numb. Yay! And I mean Yay! I am having normal pregnancy related problems- nothing dangerous to me or the babies. I have seen such horrible things happen during pregnancy that I am thankful every day for what I am going through.
The twins have names now. I don't think I will post them here, since they aren't my children's names to release, but I am excited about it. I can talk to them now and call them by name. Braden will come rub my tummy, kiss it, or talk to the twins. This morning he listened to my belly and said, "I hear them talking to each other". It was so cute. I told him that was just my tummy being hungry- which it always is.
Their parents are preparing everything at home for them, and getting their big brother as prepared as a two year old can be. I enjoy hearing about their plans and their joy at their upcoming arrivals. I can not describe how incredibly happy it makes me to hear their excitement in making plans for these children.
My greatest fear in going into surrogacy was that I would grow too attached to the babies. I had no idea that the fulfillment and happiness of helping someone else's dream come true would be complete. I never knew how easy it would be to envision these children in their parents' arms. I have no fear of that now. My greatest concern now is that I get them here safely.
Life is full of grief and sorrow. I could spend an entire blog just complaining about the things that are sad or frustrating in my life. But, life is also full of joy and peace. I have learned that through the grief and sorrow we find the joy and peace. We truly could not have one without the other. I will gladly take the pain that comes my way if it means I can know the happiness I feel on a daily basis.

My babies are growing in so many ways

"Thousands of candles can be lighted by a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." Buddha

I sit here, after a week of trying to find time to blog, and my thoughts have all left my head. Life is full these days, with the children, school, work, their extra activities, and all that we try to do. My children are growing up so fast. Katie is now playing the clarinet in band and talks about it every day after school. She is wearing mascara and lip gloss, wearing clothes from the Junior's department, and having sleepovers. Triston is doing Boy Scouts and helped our principal fold the U.S. and Texas flags after school on Friday. I was so proud! He is working with his aunt to show a horse in a competition next month. Braden just turned 6, and is growing so fast I can't believe how quickly it has happened. He is a big boy now and makes his own dinner plates and picks out his own clothes. I am overjoyed to see the people they are growing into and the goodness that radiates from them. However, I am also sad to see their little hands grow so large and their feet grow bigger than mine (well, Katie's already have) Next thing I know, they will all be taller than me! First day of school picture:

We have adjusted to school time and the school routine. We try to fit in fun things to do whenever we can and I try to let the kids have time to play with their friends, ride their bikes, and enjoy being kids. We seem to be successful with this, and they love to have free time.

I have never enjoyed anything more than I enjoy being a mom. When I was a little girl, I always said I wanted to grow up to be a mommy. Well, I did, and it is the only job I will never retire from. There is no other love on this earth that is as pure as the love between mother and child. I live for their hugs, thrive on their kisses, and rejoice in every success they meet. And when they fall, I lift them up, and we keep on going. The miraculous thing about them growing up is that they don't let me fall either. Wherever I am, whatever happens, no matter what, I know with my children that I am home.

They are the candles I was born to light. They are the light that I will leave the world. They are the best thing I have ever done.