It has been so long since I have been able to write in my blog about surrogacy- well, specifically, that I am in the middle of another journey!
After I delivered the twins, I was not only overjoyed at their safe journey to life, but, honestly, I was sad that it had ended. As a surrogate, there is so much time and concern invested in carrying another family's child to their arms. It is a blessing, a calling, and a privelege. Within a month of their birth, I knew that I would do another journey.
Luckily, I am married to an amazing man. When I said to Jason, "I want to do another surrogacy," he didn't say no, or let's wait, or tell me I was off my nut. He simple said, "I know, and I want you to." It is the most amazing feeling to know that I have a husband who loves me, understands me, and not only sees my dreams, but is willing to support me and love me as I strive to fulfill them. Without him supporting me, I would never be able to be and do all that I want to. With him in agreement, I was off...
It was the end of January when I walked into the restaurant. I was certain that I wouldn't like these people, certain that nothing could go as well as it did with my first journey, and certain that it would take much more time and many more such meeting before I could find a couple that I would be comfortable working with.
I knew that I would trust my gut, and when I walked into the room with Jason, I saw a beautiful couple looking hopefully and expectantly at me. We had a wonderful conversation and talked for much longer than I thought seemed reasonable.
I learned that their daughter, whose name is precious to me, died the day she was born of complications that nobody realized existed until she was already here. I watched as this woman's eyes filled with tears as she began to tell me the story- realizing belatedly that I had asked the wrong question. I asked her to stop; I did not want to bring up pain on a day that should have been about hope. I remember her face as she said, "no, I am fine" and continued to tell me the story. As I remember her telling me about her child, I remember her pain, but mostly I remember the love for her child, her determination to have a living child, and her hope for the future- to bring her child a little sibling.
As we drove to the hotel, I told Jason, "It shouldn't be this easy." And he knew what I meant. I did not expect to find another couple to work with so quickly, but this couple had won my heart. Instead of despair, they held a memory. Instead of fear, hope. Instead of grief, action. Instead of sorrow, promised joy. They were perfect for me, and I know they will be amazing parents.
Within an hour, I had called to say, "If they will have me, I am in!"
And, fortuitously, they decided that they were in too, and here we are.