Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Teaching during Covid

Mid-term break - How covid-19 is interrupting children's education ...

I spent the last few months reading social media and listening to people in real life talk about teachers.  These people, none of them teachers, were saying things like,

"Breaks over teachers, time to get back to work!"

"You are an essential worker, get over yourself and embrace it!"

"You just had five months off, what are you complaining about?"

"Why are teachers so lazy that they don't want to work?"

And this is what I did- I listened to these words.  I absorbed them.  I internalized them.  And I allowed these words to hurt me.  I allowed these people to affect my perception of myself and allowed these people to make me angry.  I allowed myself to respond to their comments.  I allowed myself to spend my precious energy on this negativity. 

And then I realized something that a dear friend has been saying to me for over a year.  She says something to the affect of, "People don't understand what we do.  We have to get our validation from each other, and if other people want to appreciate us, that is just a bonus."

I was reading "Teach Like a Pirate" by Dave Burgess, and he basically said the same thing.  And after hearing it from two different sources, I had the great "Aha!" moment.  

In teaching, as I'm sure in most professions, there is a reason you do it.  There is a "why".  Obviously, in teaching, the why is not for the money.  My personal "why" is for the children.  I believe that every single child deserves to have someone believe in them and encourage them to be their best.  

I am a teacher

I would jump in front of a bus for one of my students

I would stand between them and a gun

I would run through fire to get them out of a burning building

(We practice these things and real teachers do them)

Every day, I check that they are clean, fed, and rested

Every day, I make sure their medical needs are met and check for signs of illness

Every day, I check for signs of neglect or abuse or trafficking

Every day, I protect their privacy

Every day, I teach them skills like shaking hands and looking in my eye

Every day, I make sure each child's individualized plan is followed

Every day, I engage them

Every day, I say their name

Every day, I make them feel safe

and loved

and wanted

and special

Every day, I teach them

I listen to them

I speak to them

Every day, I advocate for them

Every day.

And now I teach full-time in person learning

full-time virtual learning

and some hybrid version of these two

I am learning a gazillion new acronyms and how to use more technology

how to teach from 6 feet away

wearing a mask

unable to hug these children that I love

teaching them without even seeing them.

From now until it ends.

Every day.


And after all of this, some people are going to complain.  Judge. Hate.

But do you know what?

I don't have time for haters.  

I don't have time to even read the comments.

I have students to teach

and a world to change.



Image credits: 

1. https://www.economist.com/international/2020/03/19/how-covid-19-is-interrupting-childrens-education

2. Me



Friday, June 5, 2020

Letting them go

Spokane Valley Fire Dept. urges alarms, sprinklers after weekend ...

Sometimes there are no words
No actions
No way to help
Nothing but
Watching
Waiting

Sometimes it hurts more than breathing
When you have to let them go
Let them decide
Let them choose
Let them lead

Sometimes they walk into fire
And you can't stop them
And you can't go with them
And you can't send anything except your love with them into the flames
And pray to all the gods they won't be burned

Sometimes there is nothing except pain
An ache tearing through your soul
A gasp escaping your lips
A spinning in your gut
A hollow in your heart

Sometimes
There are no words
There is nothing
Nothing
But hurt

5/26/20
em


Image credit: https://www.kxly.com/spokane-valley-fire-dept-urges-alarms-sprinklers-after-weekend-of-fire-calls/

Monday, May 11, 2020

Being a Mom

Silhouette Design Store - View Design #59863: celtic symbol for ...

Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done.
It is putting all of my energy and love and hope into someone else.  
It is someone else's actions affecting my happiness.
I am only as strong as my weakest child.
I am brave even when I am afraid.
I feed them, even if I have to crawl.
I protect them, even when it puts me in danger.
I hold on to relationships I do not want and let go of relationships I want to keep.
I choose a career and a home that fits their needs.
I choose what is best for them instead of what is best for me.
I have lost years of sleep.
I have destroyed my body.
I have spent 69 months breastfeeding and 40 months pregnant.
I fail.  Again.  And again.  And again.
To be honest, there are days that I want to run away.  
It is that hard.

Being a mom is a contradiction.
My children have the power to break my heart, but they are also the reason my heart beats.
I want to get away from them, but then miss them terribly.
They make me crazy and they keep me sane.
They are the reason I breathe and the reason I want to scream.
They are my greatest joy and my greatest fear.
Watching them grow fills me with happiness and nostalgia.
I can't wait for them to get to the next stage, but then mourn the last.
I celebrate their successes and catch them when they fall.

But being a mom is the best thing I have ever done.
My children have made me strong.
They have taught me how to give.
For them, I learned how to never give up.
To care for them, I have done things I never would have done for myself.
To protect them, I have gained courage I never knew I had.
To provide for them, I have pushed myself to the limit and found success.
To love them, I have learned selflessness.
To set an example for them, I have become a more honest and responsible human.
For them, I have become the best version of myself.
Although I fail them so often, they continue to amaze me with their resilience, their kindness, their goodness and their love.
When I see who they are becoming, I know I succeeded more than I failed.
And even on the hardest days, I love them more than breathing,
more than sunshine.

Parents say they will do anything for their kids
Burn down the world for them
Kill for them
Die for them

I continue to do anything for my kids
Burn down bridges and build new ones
Fight for them
Live for them

They are worth it.