So, nobody really knows what a rutabega is, I mean come on! But that is what Babycenter has decided to compare Isabella to at 25 weeks. She is about 1 1/2 pounds now, which is roughly the weight of a rutabega. She is growing so quickly, but I think she seems so small. I pulled up a picture of me pregnant with the twins at 24 weeks and am going to compare it to the one I took a week ago at 24 weeks- and then you will see why I feel so small!
Isabella at 24 wks
Twins at 24 wks
I feel wonderful, aside from some heartburn and an inability to bend, my body is doing well (I think it is just praising me for not putting in twins again ;). The crazy pregnant lady hormones are out in full swing, but I can live with those. Isabella is still moving and happy, or so I always imagine her to be. She is so easy to get along with and so peaceful. I hope she stays this way for her parents.
Last Tuesday my surrotwins turned one. Their mother had sent me a picture of them from Halloween (they were Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss) and they are beautiful. I think they grow cuter every day, and they have such charming smiles. Sometimes, I have amazing surrogate moments. For example, I kept thinking their birthday was on the 19th, and I finally had to ask Jason what the date of their birth actually was! Obviously, that is information that moms keep track of, so it was just another reminder of how completely I am their not-mother. I look at those children the same way I look at all babies I love, and I wonder that they grew inside of me for nine months. I wonder at the miracle of God that He saw fit to allow me to carry children and never doubt who they belong to.
Yesterday, my children left for a Thanksgiving trip with their father. I was sad all week leading up to their departure, and I feel like a piece of me is gone. Divorce is such an evil beast, but sometimes necessary and sometimes it brings good. One of the ironic good things it has brought is that my love for my children is so strong. So many parents wish for a "break" from their kids. Well, I get mandatory breaks from my kids, and I realize every time they leave how very much I love them, how very much they are a part of my heart, and how very devastated I would be without them. I am sure the pregnancy hormones don't help at all, but I just miss them. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and I will enjoy the blessings I have, and praise God that He has given me my children. So, even though I won't have them on this certain date, I have them in my life.
My greatest blessing is that I am a mother. I can never pay back the gratitude I feel to God for this gift. All I can do is pay it forward, and help other women becomes mothers as well.
My husband is coming home. He just drove all around town looking for the movie we wanted to watch. I will climb in his lap (and enjoy the last few weeks I fit) and he will hold me. When my children are gone, I still have his warmth to remind me that I am not alone- even if it otherwise just me and the rutabega.