Summer is here

Summer is upon us.  I look forward to this time all year long- it is what I think of when I am fed up with my students, with waking up at 5 am every morning, with never having time to clean my house.  So why is it that with its arrival I am filled with such nostalgia?
This year marks my fourth year here in Alto.  This year the students that I have taught since their freshman year are graduating.  On Friday night, I will sit in the stands and watch them walk across the stage for the final time.  I will see them together, laughing, crying, cheering, and hugging each other- as they have done for the last thirteen years of their lives- for the last time.  They will hug me good-bye (or not) and I will see them when they come to visit or pick up transcripts (or not), but it will never be the same. 
While they were at graduation practice yesterday, I was cleaning out my cupboard.  I found poems, posters, projects, and short stories they had written.  I have kept these things for the last four years mostly on accident, but gathering them up and throwing them away at the same time my seniors were coming in to tell my good-bye was so bittersweet.  I realize how quickly time flies by and how important it is to tell people everything good and wonderful about them every minute you have with them because the time we have to influence them for good or help them understand something is so small.  I will never see these kids in this same context again.  They are grown.  I have done my job, and I pray that I did it well enough that it will enable them to succeed in the world outside.
And another day has passed and I am on day two of trying to write this post!  Today is the last day of school.  Very few students are here, my room is clean, and I am going to go pick the boys up "early" so that they can feel special ;)  It has been a great year, a busy (crazy busy) spring, and now the kids and I get the summer to just play sports, games, travel, and SLEEP IN!
I love what I do, especially in the summer ;)

Busy

Some days, life just seems overwhelming.  I am surrounded by people I love, I have a good job, I am going to marry the man I love, my children tell my they love me every day, and it will be summer in just eleven more school days... why do I get overwhelmed?  I think it must be hormonal or something.
Why am I so annoyed that after I buy my daughter a new bathing suit, sunglasses, and t shirt for her field trip, arrange the sleepover so she can go, and make sure she has sunscreen for the water park, does she get mad at me because I can't call her principal at six o'clock at night so she can get special permission to ride with a friend?
Why am I so upset that the house is a disaster when I at least have a house?
Why does it matter that I have no time to sit at the computer without knowing that something important is not getting done?
Why do I worry that the plants Jason carefully planted will die in my care before they even start to wilt?
I don't know... and I am too tired to look for the answers.
I know that life is good.  I know that I love being alive and being healthy only slightly less than I love my children being alive and happy.  I know that I am so immensely blessed, I shouldn't even worry or stress out.  I hope maybe it is just because I strive to be the best I can be and know that I have a long way to go...
Goal number 1:  Get the kids to bed
Goal number 2:  Get to work on time
Goal number 3:  I'll think about it in the morning (that's why I have a calendar).

Mother's Day

I have heard many quotes and cute sayings about Mother's Day.  Today my mother gave me a book of them as a gift, and I love the pictures with the quotes on them.  I guess, if I had to write my own quote for Mother's Day, it would go something like this, "Mom- I can't imagine who I would be without you, and I can't imagine life without you.  Thank you for choosing to love me for all of these years."
Being a mom is the most amazing gift I have ever been given.  Having an amazing mom is the greatest blessing.  I thank God for my mother every day, and I pray that I will get to keep her for a long, long time. 
My children let me sleep in this morning.  They bought me flowers.  They helped Jason (I think) get breakfast ready.  They tried not to fight.  They folded and put away laundry (with just a few loud complaints).  They made me pretty things at school and brought them home today.  But better than that, they hugged me and told me they loved me.  And even better than that, they were here.  Through all that we have been through, through the loss of our 'perfect' family, I have learned that having my children with me is a gift in and of itself.  They don't have to do anything to make me enjoy Mother's Day.  Just by virtue of being here, I am able to not only honor my mother, but celebrate this day and realize the depth of love and respect we owe our mothers, because I understand what each one goes through for her children. 
I was able to wake up today to a house full of love, even with the whining and fighting and the mess, I have three children.  These are my blessings, these are my gifts from God and the only thing of worth I leave to the Earth. 
I am many things, but if I could only be one, if I had to sum up all that I am and all that I want to be, it would be in the word "mom." 
I spent the afternoon with my family.  We watched the children play, we ate good food, and we even played kickball- girls versus boys- and we lost terribly!  I can't imagine not having a family.  I can't imagine my family without the mothers we have in it. 
"'Mother' is the name for God in the minds and hearts of little children."
What a task I have before me.  What power I have been endowed with by God to be ready for all that I must do for my children.  What greater power and responsibility has God put on the earth than that He instills in His daughters?

It's been forever and what news I have to tell!

And the door into forever has opened wide...
On the last Friday of Spring Break, Jason and I went out to breakfast at this fabulous restaurant in Marble Falls. This restaurant even boasts banana cream pie- and it is sooo good! I knew he had something for me, and I kept waiting for him to break down and let me have it. So, when he told me that he put it in the pie, I started looking to see if there was a gap or smeared spot in the cool whip. There wasn't. So, no ring, but I got the best banana pie ever...
We decided to go to Enchanted Rock for a picnic. Enchanted Rock is this humongous (I think an acre big?) rock that you actually can climb up and walk around on. It is the size of a very large hill, but it is all rock. We failed to realize that there was a crazy long line to get in, so we ended up eating our picnic in the car- which was good, because it is really windy on top of a rock...
We hiked up the rock, and it was so beautiful. We looked around at the land around us that seemed to go on forever. I asked a man to take our picture, Jason said something to him (I thought about making the camera work), and we smiled for the camera. The man said, "just let me take a few more", so we just stood there smiling. Well, let me rephrase, I stood there smiling, trying to ignore Jason bumping around in his pocket while I pretended not to know what he was doing. Then, he leaned in close (it was hard to hear over the wind) and said, "Emily, I knew from the first day I met you that I was going to marry you, (then he started to cry and I think he forgot whatever he had planned to say next)", kneeled down, opened up the ring box with my BEAUTIFUL sapphire ring in it, and asked, "will you marry me?" Of course, I said yes and pulled him up for a big hug and kiss. It was a beautiful moment. And, thanks to our picture-taking friend, we have pictures of the entire event!

Since we were on top of the world, we had no cell service, so we sat down in a niche in the rock and looked out at the world spread ahead of us. There were no interruptions, no phones ringing, no noise that could out match the wind, just us. And we held hands and talked. And my heart was full.

I can see into forever and now I see the man I love walking beside me into eternity.