Thursday, September 6, 2012

Growing excitement again

After what felt like an eternity, but was really just a summer, my husband and I were able to meet with my lovely IPs and their precious daughter.
 Over the summer my IPs had met with the doctor, and they wanted to meet and talk in person before we made a decision about moving forward.  Of course, this terrified me since I was afraid that talking in person meant bad news.  But it didn't.  Not really.
We met over lunch at a yummy restaurant and visited about life and adventure- as all friends do.  It wasn't until we were almost done eating that I realized we hadn't even talked about the sibling project yet!  I love this about my IPs.  They are my friends and we enjoy spending time with them even when we aren't working on a project.
We finally got down to business, and here's the scoop.
Well, just kidding.  First, a tiny bit of background knowledge for your understanding.  When a woman goes in for reproductive assistance (ie. can't get preggo), the doctor does a blood test for a certain hormone (I think) to check the levels.  The levels are supposed to be over 1.
Now for the news.
When we cycled with Isabella, IM's number was 1.2- this is good. 
This summer, the number was something like .4- this is not good.
The doctor's first response was to use an egg donor.
The doctor's second response was that we have a 15% chance of getting pregnant with IM's eggs.
My lovely, sweet IPs wanted to meet just to make sure that I would still want to try with them with such low odds of success.
This took me the space of a breath to look at my husband for his look of affirmation, nod my head at his response, and say, " YES!"
The doctor told us we had very high chances of the embryos surviving the thaw in June- well, he was wrong.
The doctor tells us we have a very low chance of getting a viable embryo this way- well, he was wrong before, and he can be wrong again.
I have never been one to believe in the odds. 
I do believe in this family.  I do believe in Isabella having the chance to be a big sister.
Her mother said to me, "how could I look Isabella in the eye (when she gets older) and tell her that we did not try everything to make her a big sister?"
Well, how could I?
I believe we will succeed.
I continue to live in hope.
I wait now, not in impatience, but with certainty that I will receive that call from my IM with a date, the email from the clinic with a calendar, and another chance to make a family grow.